Learning to Hold Space: Reflections from a “Baby Therapist”

Written By: Faith Kittleson, MSW Intern

I’ve recently been jokingly referring to myself as a “baby therapist.” Not because I exclusively work with infants or toddlers (although sometimes I do), but because I am a brand-new therapist in my very first semester of field placement. Now that I’m a little over halfway through, I can honestly say this experience has already taught me more than I expected—about myself, about the field of social work, and about the people I have the privilege of supporting.

Today, I want to share the top three lessons I’ve learned so far—lessons that feel important not just for new therapists, but for anyone navigating emotionally demanding work.

1. Learning to Manage Yourself Is Just as Important as Supporting Others

One of the most surprising challenges has been learning how to manage my own emotions, reactions, and triggers while sitting in rooms where these very things are constantly being explored. It’s not easy. In fact, it can be overwhelming at times.

But I’ve come to understand that this is essential to the role. As a therapist, I am there for the client. That’s the foundation of the relationship. Unlike a friendship, therapy is not reciprocal in the same way—the client is not there to support me. This means I have a responsibility to be aware of what I bring into the room and how it might impact the work.

This awareness is ongoing. It requires reflection, honesty, and sometimes discomfort—but it’s necessary in order to truly hold space for others.

2. Self-Care Is Not Optional

We’ve all heard the analogy: on an airplane, you’re instructed to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. As simple as it sounds, this idea carries profound truth in therapeutic work.

If I’m not taking care of myself—psychologically, physically, emotionally, and socially—I simply cannot show up fully for my clients. And yet, this is something that’s incredibly easy to neglect, especially when you’re focused on caring for others.

I’ve learned that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s responsible.

For me, self-care sometimes looks like intentionally doing nothing, even if it’s just for an hour. It also means learning to say “no,” something I’m still actively working on. Protecting my energy and setting boundaries are skills I’m developing alongside my clinical work.

The irony is not lost on me—we teach our clients these same principles. The challenge is remembering to apply them to ourselves.

3. There Is No Perfect Therapist—Trust Yourself

Going into this field placement, I felt a strong pressure to do everything “right.” Say the right thing. Use the right technique. Respond in the right way. But in trying so hard to be perfect, I found myself second-guessing everything.

What I’m slowly learning is that perfection doesn’t exist in this work—and chasing it only creates doubt.

Instead, I’m learning to trust myself.

I am learning. I am growing. I am showing up with intention and care. And that matters. Of course, striving to improve is important—but not at the cost of losing confidence in myself or disconnecting from who I am.

Trusting myself doesn’t mean I have all the answers. It means believing that I am capable of learning, adapting, and continuing to grow into the therapist I aspire to be.

Moving Forward

Through conversations with peers, I’ve realized I’m not alone in these thoughts and experiences. There’s comfort in that shared understanding—knowing that many of us are navigating similar challenges as we step into this field.

I’m looking forward to reflecting back on this time in the future—to seeing how I’ve grown, what I’ve learned, and how these early lessons continue to shape my journey. For now, I’m embracing the process—uncertainties, growth, and all.

-Faith K.